Ally Tip #98

Compiling lists of “problematic shit” celebrities have said is a great way to make use of the fact that you’ve spent your life ingesting throwaway pop culture rather than doing anything meaningful to help the oppressed.

Remember, allies, your fight for social justice begins and ends at complaining about problems.  If someone asks you what you should do about something problematic, ask why they don’t take their power and privilege and use it to find the answer themselves.

That, or offer an online petition.  Those always work.

Ally Tip #97

Sorry if this ruins your coffeehouse cred, but existentialism is an oppressive philosophy, because the concept of absurdity (hello, prescriptivist mindset-policing much?) and the repulsive assumption that people must “create” authenticity (what if we lack the spoons you French assholes) are both ableist. as. fuck.

Ally Tip #95

Remember that, when you’re criticizing US foreign policy, you find a way to excuse the President and the former Secretary of State’s involvement in any of it. Because then you wouldn’t be able to reblog funny pictures of Obama and Hillary Clinton memes, and that would be like the end of your internet social life.

Ally Tip #94

Nothing says “down with the struggle” like making a microaggression-tracking blog for your expensive private liberal arts college.

All gay people regardless of political opinion, economic or social standing are allies in the great effort to bring about a more inclusive society, except gay white men, they’re not nearly as marginal enough and only want to take the system for themselves.

pokipon:

howdoesiinternet:

There are some truly insane (and I’m using that vvord literally, friends) folks on tumblr, and poking their bee hive is fun. 

Hi, would you mind dying? Thanks!

*pokes your beehive*

Btw, you really should try a trade school because you are not going to be able to finish your degree with your brain. :)

Riley displays another great example for allies: making fun of someone for attending a, shall we say, less that prestigious school is A-OK if you’re really mad at someone for righteous reasons. Even if it’s hypocritical, and the blogger in question isn’t attending the highfalutinist of learning institutions, it’s still A-OK.

Ally Tip #96

Accusing someone of gaslighting is totally not tone policing. It’s just a way of monitoring someone’s speech. Very different.

If you’re going to write fiction, remember the Great Social Justice Paradox:

1. If your writing doesn’t include PoCs, you’re whitewashing.

2. If your writing does include PoCs, you’re appropriating.

But whatever you do, don’t regard this paradox as a Zen koan, because that would totally be culture theft.

Ally Tip #93

“Neoliberal” is the kind of term that has far outgrown its outdated dictionary definition. Did you know that anything perpetuated by leftists that disagrees with your revolutionary lifestyle is neoliberalism? It’s true (because I want it to be)!